Embrace Your Soul Proprietorship
What do I mean by “soul proprietorship”?
This is a term that my partner Kim Kersey came up with when I asked him for a proper translation for what I want to talk about. So, thank you, Kim! The German word “Selbstständigkeit” refers to both: self-employment in the business world and self-reliance in general. Even though one sometimes leads to the other and we will probably see that more often in the upcoming years they don’t have to be experienced in a bundle. Yet, the issues, hopes and fears on the path are often similar ones in both, self-employment and self-reliance.
Why is that so?
– Because in both cases we are aiming at being in a more self-responsible, independent and sovereign position. In both cases we will experience – sometimes huge – changes in our personal and in our professional lives. In both cases, if we choose an approach that takes the desires of heart and the leadership of the soul in account, we claim our own soul proprietorship.
When we feel called to give our true selves more expression, more space to blossom, we often find ourselves confronted with a little or no supportive surrounding. We find ourselves captivated in structures, rules and habits which are made to remind us that we have to keep our heads low, that we have to fit into the system, that we have to be good workers and to be productive members of the society. We are taught that following our heart and our own desires is unproductive. We are taught that being ourselves is impolite. We are taught that dreams are, if at all, for children and not to be taken seriously. In other words: We find ourselves within a system of suction and imprisonment. Sooner or later it will lead us to either of this: Burn out or waking up; – or sometimes both, first the one and then the other.
If we feel called – for whatever reason – to give our true selves more expression and choose to step towards that, we are on the way to waking up. We are claiming our soul proprietorship – sometimes by actually considering self-employment, always by aiming at more self-reliance.
Step I – Opting Out
Ok, now, I know I want to opt out of the old system, but how do I do that and step into something new?
For me the first step is to re-balance myself and find access to the inner voice of my heart. You know, this little voice that is whispering at you, sometimes, and that always knows.
See, I am aiming into the direction of soul proprietorship since quite a while now. And it took me several detours to learn that actually nobody knows better what is best for me than me. I followed teachers and teachings, took regular business coachings and talked to so called experts. And nothing moved for me. All that happened was that it left me feeling paralyzed, wrong and not enough – in one word: disempowered.
What finally helped me to move was this:
Stop listening to what others tell you is right for you. Start making the voice of your heart your priority.
After my last business coaching I created some time for myself. I used this time to:
- Detoxify from all the infiltration of the old system. – How can I opt out and create something new if I am still following the old patterns?
- Allowing myself to find my own pace. – How can I create joy when I am not allowing myself to be in a joyful place?
- Re-connecting with the voice of my heart. – How can I invent a nourishing place for me to be when I am not listening to and following my heart?
These three steps helped me to find out more about what I really want and what is healthy for me.
I allowed myself to detoxify. I did not allow myself to listen to or follow those old patterns. And what seemed so hard in the beginning became much easier after a while. I freed myself and opted out of what for me was a self-destructive system a bit more with every little step.
I allowed myself to find my own pace. I went on an adventure to find out what I really enjoy and how I enjoy it best. I explored what nourishes me, what supports me, what is healthy for me and how to step towards it. I found out what depletes me, what blocks me, what sickens me and how to gently turn away from it.
I allowed myself to re-connect with the voice of my heart and to maintain and strengthen this connection. I found out about the tricks that the old energy is playing on me to make me fall for it again. I found out how to differentiate between all the voices out there and inside of me and how to identify them so that I would know which one is the one of my heart. And I started to follow my heart.
How did I do this?
I stepped into a faith beyond trust and doubt. I gave myself time and space by allowing it. I consequently followed those impulses that seemed to (and often did) come from the deepest core of me. And I allowed trial and error.
In the midst of this, I did focus on the moments of success and happiness rather than on the worry. I reminded myself to be grateful and to celebrate every tiny, little step that ever worked out for me on my new path.
And slowly I balanced and found my voice.
What about you? Are you ready to embrace your soul proprietorship? What is your first step towards more self-reliance? 🙂
Step II – Clearly Creative
Ok, now, I have the freedom to do what I want. But, what do I want?
To find out what we want it is important to connect with our inner artist or, if that suits better for you, our inner creative child. Why? – Because life itself is creative expression and it is natural for us to go with this flow. Only we were taught to block it and so many of us forgot how to access and connect with this flow. But our inner creative child, our inner artist knows. This is the aspect of us who never forgot and therefore kept us alive. Remember: life is creative expression. So, when we stop to express ourselves creatively in some way, we die.
When we are awakening, we are connecting with our creative flow more than we did before. But in the beginning we often have no idea what we are doing. Sometimes we feel connected and then, again, not. If we follow our inner creative child, it will teach us its wisdom. Our inner artist knows what to do. And we can learn from him/ her.
When I allowed my inner artist child to lead the way more and more, I found out a lot about buried dreams and hidden talents. I learned where shame and blame blocked me from reaching out for my desires and expressing who I really am. And I learned how to gently unblock my creativity and to find out what I really want. A huge inspiration on my path was “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron.
How do I connect with my creativity?
Here are the basic steps I took:
- Create a space where you can empty out everything that’s on your mind. One way is to write three sites of Morning Pages, each day, like Julia Cameron recommends in her book. But there are other ways, too. But there are other ways, too. “The Way of the Fool”, a type of improve theatre, gave me techniques to create the same space. Some people might sing it out or speak their thoughts on tape or have a video journal. Important is, that this space is a private place. It is for nobody else than yourself. It is a secret place for you and your inner artist child.
- Let go of judgement. Judgement is just a way to block you from the truth of your heart. Judgement will tell you that the desires of your inner artist child are not important. Judgement will tell you that your dreams are not meant to come true. Judgement will tell you that you don’t have any means to manifest your vision. Those things are lies. Let go of judgement towards yourself and those beliefs will loosen up to give way for a new and self-empowering perspective.
- Allow space for your inner artist child to show you what it likes to do. – And it will show you what it dislikes, too. ;) Julia Cameron recommends an Artist Date once a week. That is a date just between you and your inner artist child where you can take it by the hand and do something that it really enjoys. I find this method, just like the Morning Pages, highly effective. I also recommend little, short breathing times throughout the day. Little check-ins with yourself where you just breathe. It is amazingly relaxing and widens the channel for your creativity so that it can flow easily.
How does this help me in finding out what I really want?
Following your creativity will show you what you enjoy and what you dislike. It will help you to discover the voice of your heart. And it will help you to remember your dreams and visions.
And eventually you will discover into which direction you really want to aim.
Do you have any buried dreams and hidden talents? Is there anything you always wanted to try but felt it was too late, too unimportant or too stupid? What is it? Can you allow a tiny bit of it in your here and now?
Step III – Healthy Habits
Ok, now, I have an idea of what I want to do. But how do I bring it into the world?
To manifest our dreams and visions – meaning to bring them into the world, developing healthy habits can be very supportive. – What?! But I just opted out of all those habits and patterns! And now you are telling me I shall put them up, again? – Well, no. I am not telling you to put the old patterns and habits up, again. I am saying that it can be supportive to invent some new habits that are healthy for you. And I am not the only one, there. The Ladies of the Connection Revolution have something to say about habits, too.
Look, it is a bit like this: Our creativity is floating out there. It is spread out far so that it can reach any potential we ever choose to manifest. Now, that we have chosen one of those potentials we need to focus our creativity so that we can manifest our dream into the density of the material world. Healthy and supportive habits help us with that and serve as a channel, like a pipe for water, to focus our creativity on our chosen potential. – And the cool thing is: it is our very own habit. If we notice that it does not serve us, anymore, we can simply change it. We created it. We decide what to do with it.
All right, healthy habits, huh? What are healthy habits for me?
Well, healthy habits are activities and reminders that express and support you in what you really want to do. Eating healthy food can be one. Taking regular breathing and check-in times can be a healthy habit. Giving yourself regular time to work with your creativity and step towards your dream can be another one. Just like the Morning Pages, Artist Dates or reminding yourself to let go of judgement whenever you are being hard on yourself. It differs for each individual as it is a very personal journey.
There are some points, though, that help to differentiate and identify those healthy habits. Here is what I found out about it:
- Healthy habits allow you to nourish yourself and to connect with your creativity. They never block or limit you in that. For example: An unhealthy habit often found in the old system is to work over the lunch break. It does not allow the time and space to nourish yourself, yet, expects you to be productive and effective all the time. A healthy habit could be to block yourself some definite stretches of time throughout the day with the only task and first priority to nourish yourself. When we nourish ourselves we automatically connect with our creativity. Remember: Life itself is creative expression. So, when I nourish myself and allow myself to enjoy life I am naturally connecting with my creativity.
- Healthy habits allow clarity. They never try to take that away from you. For example: In the old system we were taught that it is impolite to be ourselves. That feels confusing. Why is it wrong to be me? Why shall I question the permission of my existence? A healthy habit can be to write down some truths of your heart. Those might be: “I am that I am and I am best that way”. “I know what I know”. “To follow my dreams makes me strong and beautiful”. As a healthy habit you could write down those truths that your heart tells you and place them somewhere well visible to use them as reminders and affirmations when you feel down or confused. You know that it is a truth of your heart when it silences self-doubts immediately and fills you with warmth and knowingness.
- Healthy habits give you a step by step structure leading towards your dream. There will be times, when you don’t need such a structure because you can go with the flow and everything falls into place. That is great and where we want to be. However, it is quite likely that there will be times when you feel blocked, too. That is when the step by step structure enters the picture. In times of blockage we feel unmotivated (even demotivated, sometimes), confused and stuck. We don’t know where to start first or if to start at all. Instead of stepping into this discussion with worry and doubt we can now follow our healthy habit structure. What is next on the plan? Checking out how to put up a website? Finding an e-mail marketing provider? Cleaning out the basement? Writing a blog post? Take the next task from the plan and make a step toward fulfilling it. On days of strong demotivation that might be a tiny, little mouse step. That is ok. You are choosing your own pace.
Healthy habits give our vision an outline, a shape to manifest into the physical world. Nothing is written in stone – except you are a sculptor. But then you already know how to handle this. ;) What I want to say is that you can choose something new at any time. When you notice that something does not work for you, you can try something different. Sometimes it is trial and error, remember?
Are there any old habits in your life blocking you from your creativity? Can you let go of one, today? What could be a healthy habit for you?
Step IV – Break
This step is about finding a healthy balance to all the doing – in fact by not-doing.
In the midst of finding out what it’s all about and doing all the steps it is so important to remember taking a break, at times. It is important to take some time just for yourself, away from all seeking and hustle-bustle. Remember to allow yourself time and to let things work for you. Take a look at nature. Some people, like Dr. Wolf-Dieter Storl, say that flowers are always in a condition of Samadhi – a condition of blissful oneness. They never worry. They are simply enjoying their existence. And look what beauty is radiating from them as they grow and finally blossom. 🙂
Step V – Absolutely Authentic
How can I do all this and be authentic?
I mean, what is being authentic, anyway?
I have been wondering about this quite a while. What exactly does it mean to be authentic? – Does it mean you cannot follow any teachings and inspiration, anymore, and are supposed to invent everything yourself? – No. – Well, does that mean, then, that I can learn to be authentic? – Errrr, no. You cannot learn to be authentic because you already are authentic. You were just taught to hide that. And as you have learned how to hide your authenticity, you can also learn how to discover it, again. Your authenticity is nothing more nor less than your true self. It is your inner artist child that likes chocolate cake and dislikes the loud techno music coming from the neighbour’s balcony. It is that part of you who always wanted to learn Tai Chi and never liked an 8 AM to 6 PM week. It is that aspect of yours that always knew what you want and what you don’t want without judging you or anybody else for that. It is that deep core within you that is pure love.
You know, it is ok to like and to dislike things. You can like and dislike without judgement. When you just dislike, for example, the colour green, you are not judging the grass for being green. You are not even judging the colour green. You are only aware that you personally prefer something else – maybe the colour red. Accepting what you like and what you don’t like allows you to outline yourself in this world. This will give you some space to use your energy effectively:
- The more you can allow yourself to do what you like and to be who you want to be, the more you can allow others to do the same – even if their choices may differ significantly from yours. This will allow you to live much more peacefully, instead of putting your energy into fight and judgement.
- The more you can allow yourself to identify what you like and what you don’t like, the more you can focus your energy on those things you do like. This way you are giving energy to what you like instead of – by putting attention on it – bringing into your life what you don’t enjoy.
- The more you allow yourself to have an outline, the more you will be able to see your uniqueness. Yes, to find that you cannot really compare yourself to others can be quite scary in first place. But it also shows you that there really is no reason for competition. Everybody is unique and contributing their very special part to this world in a way only they can do it. Same as you.
So, when you step into being authentic – that means to be who you are with all that you are – you will experience a shift of values as well as a shift of energy. You will learn to use your capacities in a new way. And you will unleash a lot of energy that was bound within old habits of judgement, fear and competition. This energy is now free for you to use it to manifest any potential you choose in your world. Furthermore you will learn to focus your energy on what you really want, instead of spreading it unconsciously by keeping yourself distracted. By focussing on what you really want to express in life you are magnifying your energy for it. You also will attract those energies – people, things, events and experiences – that truly resonate with you, and you with them. Connecting with these energies will amplify the power of each to more than the sum of the parts. In one sentence: being authentic is empowering.
What flavour does your outline have? What is your unique and authentic contribution to the world? Are you ready to step into your own power?
Step VI – Gratitude
Gratitude is a key to connection. Gratitude opens the heart. Gratitude values your experience.
Gratitude does not cost anything. Gratitude is something you can always take with you. Gratitude is something that you can give freely, even to yourself.
I am grateful for you.
I am grateful for your unique light that you are shining into this world.
I am grateful that you are reaching out and connecting by reading this post.
And as I am speaking of gratitude:
Thank you, dear reader, for being here and honouring this blog with your presence.
What are you grateful for, today?
Copyright and Legal Stuff
All photos except one are raw, unedited pictures taken by Stefanie Naumann with the camera of my mobile phone. Exception: Portrait photo “Stefanie Neumann” taken by Kim Anthony Kersey, edited in GIMP by Stefanie Neumann.
Copyright: Stefanie Neumann – All Rights Reserved.