Two Weeks of Darkness and the Return of the Light
It has been silent, here, at Kokopelli Bee Free Blog. The reason is that I had sunken into darkness. On this side of the globe it is supposed to be late spring – at my home that means sun, blossoms and occasional rain showers during the day. But not this year. After clouds, rain and occasional five minute visits of the sun we had two weeks of permanent rain and darkness.
You know, I do not belong to the people whose mood is depending on the weather but in this case it really matched my personal condition. I am not sure if my mood was partly reflecting the weather or if the weather was totally reflecting my mood. Fact is that it was not just dark enough outside to turn on the lights during daytime. It was also gloomy with a sulphur-yellow tone to it like right before a thunderstorm.
And that was also how I felt. I managed to keep my spirits up for a while and to focus on some happy things and inner light. I also took time to be in silence and did often sit with holding my hands on my second chakra to centre myself. As I felt quite off balance and even seemingly little things knocked me down I even pulled back from everything into a retreat to stabilize myself, again. I became a true hermit.
Being a hermit was not really difficult as that bad cough I caught two and a half months ago in Ireland – although it had gotten much better, since – did not completely let go of me and regularly forced me into a very slow mode. I took it as a sign leading me to silence and tranquillity. And I followed that sign. But it did not really seem to work. Discontent increased until I thought I would be on a path into depression.
Later I heard that a meteorite supposedly hit the moon – and looking back I notice that my Hermitage started during that very time.
Around May 25th I really worried that something is going very wrong. I may mention that when I caught that terrible cough in Ireland it felt as if somebody had aimed some really dark energy at me. Some strange things had been going on, before, and getting sick felt like the climax of all that. I don’t like all those “ghost stories” and my belief in “dark magic”, “curses” and things like that is very limited as I choose to take responsibility for my own life and not let those patterns of fear rule my experience. But once in a while it happens that somebody is aiming something really ugly at somebody else and it finds a resonance point – an insecurity, a judgement, shame, guilt or some other fear based frequencies. And then it can dock on.
When I started to worry that weekend I did not even think of that energy I encountered in Ireland. And I am not saying that it actually had anything to do with my condition. I am just describing my observations and experiences. All I know is that it came to a break down at the evening of May 26th. I felt completely down – mentally, emotionally and physically. I remember lying on the bed and crying in the late afternoon when the sun came through. For the first time in two weeks! And it felt as if it was telling me:
All is well. It’s not a break down. It’s a break through. Tomorrow everything will be lighter and it will move in ease and grace from then on. And I (the sun) will shine brightly for you, too.”
Finally, I went to bed at 8pm and stayed there until quite late the next morning. I had had enough!
On the next morning I woke up to bright sunshine! And I, indeed, felt tons lighter. The sun had told the truth! I also remembered that some channellings had spoken of a great energetic portal that was supposed to open with the full moon on May 25th. I am just saying it.
During breakfast Kim told me that he had seen something interesting after he came to bed the night before. When he came to bed he had put his hands on my back. Then he suddenly saw a dark-ish creature hovering around from pole to pole in my energetic field. He compared it to the Dementors in the stories of Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling. Kim had the impression, this being was kind of attracted by the magnetic field of humans and at the same time caught in this polarity as it does not know anything else. So he asked to neutralize the field for a moment so that this being was allowed to experience itself in a neutral field without the old pattern. And then he saw some light beings come in, inviting the “Dementor” to come home. And finally it went with them into the light, even became light, itself.
It is a fact that I am feeling much better since that night and I personally have no doubt that some kind of strange energy had been lingering in my field. Where it came from and if I was the only one dealing with this kind of energy during that time or if it was something collective – those are things I don’t know.
I believe that there is a lot of truth in those stories about Harry Potter – on many levels. In my opinion the Dementors, for example, describe pretty well a special type of energy which actually does suck all happiness out of you. This often causes depression and other diseases in effect. Those energies are fear-based and can be used by people against other people under some circumstances. In the Harry Potter stories the Dementors were used to keep the magical criminals in Azkaban – the prison of the magical world. They would take care of the followers of the Dark Lord who had been beaten. After the Dark Lord had returned he used the Dementors against his opponents.
This shows nicely how dealing with a specific type of energy easily turns against you. Instead of allowing those creatures to go home into the light they are used to create more of the same fear-based energy that they are made of.
I further believe that the battle between light and dark is over by now. The choices are made and there is nothing to fight about, anymore. If we choose we can live in peace, now. Those energies we created during the war, fights and battles are still here, though. They don’t know where to go or what to do. All they know is fear and polarity and that they are attracted by light. But they don’t know how to access it. Like that being that Kim found in my field. It only knew the pattern of strong polarity (= fight, suction). And as I was dealing with some fear-based issues myself during that time, it could hook up with me. It was attracted by my light, that’s why it stayed. But it only could stay because of the fear (in that case it had the shape of shame) I carried around. That is polarity. And those fear-based feelings increased while the creature was with me as much as my light decreased. By Kim offering the experience of neutrality for a moment, the being could find its way home. Everything is ultimately love – even those beings. They are just fragments and looking for wholeness.
Now the light is back – inside of me and also on the outside. The sun is showing up every day, at least for a couple of hours. And I can access ease, grace and happiness, again.” 😀
So, this is what I have been up to. What’s your story? Did you ever experience energies like that? What helps you to deal with them? What is your perspective on this type of energy?Much love, Steffi